I want more life

Just finished watching 'Angels in America'. Didn't know it was about homosexuals and AIDS before I decided to watch it, all I knew was that it won some awards (Golden Globe and Emmy for Best Miniseries). It was actually adapted from a play of the same title.

Being a gay, I identified with most of the elements in the story, although the story itself is also about the social state of America in general. This is perhaps the first film I've watched since Tom Hanks' Philadelphia that dealt majorly with AIDS.

The issues explored in the story are all quite close to heart: love, abandonment, belief, prejudice, etc. But it takes certain patience to go through some of the more metaphorical scenes and the often wordful dialogues.

When I first started embracing homosexuality, AIDS was the first issue I found myself having the most difficulty dealing with. I was so scared of catching the disease that I did some pretty naive things back then. As time went by, as I met more people and gained more experience, the issue of AIDS started to take a back seat in my mind, because so few actually talk about it, it's almost like a taboo or maybe people just thought that by avoiding thinking or talking about it, it will not exist or happen to them.

Since my recent involvement with A (which you all knew how it ended :-)), I stopped all my promiscuous activities, because I was ready to stay commited with A. And although I didn't have much desire to meet other guys during that period with him, it also occured to me then how stupid it would be if I were to catch AIDS (or some other nasty STDs) when I finally found someone I wanted to be with.

It was since then, that I have made a promise to myself I will stop having promiscuous sex, not just because I am afraid of the possibly terrible and painful death I will face upon catching AIDS, but also because of the people that I care and love me. Nothing is worth the pain I will inflict on them, certainly not moments of fun with some guys whose name I wouldn't even remember the next morning.

And most important of all, I would need all the health I can have when I finally found him, I don't want to finally meet the 'destined guy' only to tell him, "Babe, I'm so happy to have found you, but I'm afraid I can't be there for you, for I got myself AIDS while waiting for you."

No, I want to tell him, "Babe, I want to be the one who will always be there for you."

Yes, curse the romantics :-P