Forgetfulness

Been almost a week since I last contacted him, guess I should be on my way to finally being able to forget him and let him go..

On my way home just now, I felt a certain dizziness, suddenly I realised what I have been doing all this time was just consciously avoid thinking of him, and this constant effort is starting to take a toll on my psyche, it's like my left brain which wants to think of him is constantly fighting with my right brain which doesn't want to think of him, it was literally starting to give me a splitting headache.

I probably still need more time, more time to wash away the memories and any residue feelings.

Then it occured to me, seeing how I'm becoming more forgetful in recent times (not Alzheimers I hope!), maybe it's because I've been so used to shutting out the unwanted memories, that it somehow promoted my forgetfulness.

Yea I know this may sound like a lame excuse, and probably a bit far fetched, but the possibility could be there for all I know. I guess I'm just becoming too much used to (and need) selective memorising these days, that I'll only memorise things that I deem important enough. Now I generally require harder effort to really memorise something, cos I've been too used to forgetting things. Am I making sense?

Uhm wait.. where was I again? :-P