What's in a companion

Been catching up with many Desperate Housewives episodes and chats with friends about relationships lately.

I came to realise, that relationships be they hetero or homosexual in nature, require sacrifices to work.

Some believe in searching for the most compatible or ideal companion, in hope that it would ensure a successful and long lasting relationship. But compatibility between two person can only go so far in maintaining a healthy relationship, for even the sweetest and most matching couples can have moments of disagreements and conflicts of interests.

What happens when unpleasant things happen in a relationship? Do they just decide that they are not that compatible afterall and hence separate to continue searching for the next perfect companion?

A friend once told me, "There is no such thing as a perfect guy in this world". He's right, the rationale is really quite simple. No two person can be together without any whatsoever frictions, for even I myself can have disagreements with myself sometimes, not to mention two people with each of their own minds.

For me, a true life companion is someone who is willing to commit himself into a relationship through thick and thin. Loving someone is not sufficient, cos 'love' has become a very emotional word, it comes and goes with our moods, one day you might love someone and the next day you might not (or think you do not).

I think the reason why relationships tend to be so fragile in the first place is that people emphasizing the feeling of 'love' so very importantly. When love is there, they want to be together, and when the excitement of love is gone, they moved on to the next excitement in life.

You see, this is when I can finally understand the true purpose of marriage. Marriage may be a very political way of binding two person together for life, it nevertheless serves the purpose of having us to commit ourselves, to prevent (or discourage) ourselves from time to time giving into the urges of straying away for some new excitements that promise moments of pleasures and happiness.

The fact is, those who see marriage as a prison, are probably those who do not understand the meaning of 'lifetime fulfillment'. To me, it means having someone as your best friend and closest confidant, the pillar of strength at your lowest moments and the meaning of joy at your happiest moments. Someone who gives you the reason to work harder and earn that extra money just so that you can buy that watch he's been secretly eyeing on, somone whose well-being is put ahead of even your own interests.

Someone who makes you want to be a better and stronger person just so that you can protect the people that are important to you. Someone whom you can lay bare to physically and emotionally at the end of the day without the need to pretend that you are someone who you are not. Someone whom you are not afraid to be vulnerable to, because you know you will not be scrutinised and whatever your flaws are, you will still be accepted.

To find someone who is actually capable of all the things above is difficult. To be together with that someone for life is therefore even immensely more difficult, especially without any sacrifices from both parties.

I may be a bit sadistic, but I find that in life, if everything comes easy and without effort, we would not appreciate it. On the other hand, if we have to work hard to get something, we would come to learn to think twice before saying quit on anything.