What was lost.. could never be found

People in love should make each other feel good about themselves.

But everytime I meet him, I feel like I'm the worst person in the world.

I could no longer make him laugh, he laughs so much more talking to his friends. This means I'm not even half as interesting or funny as his friends.

I could no longer look at him, because everytime looking at him I'm afraid to see him looking away to avoid me.

I could no longer be in his presence, because I feel like I'm not only no longer of his concern, I'm also not half as close as a normal friend to him.

All these made me feel like I've failed us both in my fool-hardy attempt at something that I should have known to be quite impossible - seeking the affection that's lost and long gone.

I didn't want to give up, cos I am too tired to give up, too tired to start all over again and face yet another disappointment/failure.