Deja vu

You know I'm gonna talk about the movie didn't you? :-P Well, I have to be honest and say that I did watch the movie just few hours ago, found it not as bad as I originally thought it would be. Loopholes in the plot aplenty yes, but still watchable for me.

There's another reason why I chose this title though, mostly to do with what was happening to me recently. All the symptoms and emotions were just too familiar to be ignored, eg. the constant mood swings, the pessimistic thoughts, the doubts, the hopeful checks for sms on the mobile, the extra sensitivity towards sentimental songs, the images of someone constantly popping up in the mind..

There are things which always go the opposite direction you want it to go, my luck with guys seem to be among such things. The more I want something to happen, the lesser chance it has of actually happening; and most often the more I didn't want something to happen, happen it did in the end. Irony? Maybe, but I just find it kinda sad actually.

When would I be able to break free from this neverending cycle of hopefuls and disappointments? One day I'm gonna be at an age when I would look back at all these countless people that have went through my life, how many would I still be able to remember? How many actually mattered to me? Will there be anyone left in the end that's gonna lean against me and ask me to hold his hands?

I'd like to think that the reason I've been single most of the time isn't always my choosiness, but rather the fact that I have not met anyone who can love me as much as I love him.
It's really that simple, to me at least :-)