The end of the road

Recently I met up again with the guy whom I used to like so much that I wrote a love poem to him once.

Over the dinner, to much of my surprise, he told me he was engaged 1 month ago to a girl under a pre-arranged marriage by his parents, and they will be married probably sometime during end of the year.

After hearing the news, I was rather surprised to find that I was much calmer than I thought, perhaps it was because my crush for him had already ended long time ago in the past.

However now I am actually feeling sorry for him, because he told me altough he likes the girl, he has no love for her. The girl on the other hand, seems to love him and told him she doesn't mind that he does not love her now, cos she thinks that love may be developed later after their marriage.

I told him, I did not know people in this age and time still practise pre-arranged marriages, but he told me, he is not the only child in his family who got pre-arranged marriage, so it is actually quite a normal practise. Perhaps we came from a different cultural background, for him, he carries the responsibility of getting married, while in my case, marriage is not forced.

According to him, actually he was glad to have the pre-arranged marriage. I think maybe it's because it will save him the trouble of finding a girl to get married himself, cos as it is now, everything is already prepared for him, all he needs to do is to attend the wedding and be with his future wife every so often.

I must be honest and say that I do not really know what he wants, maybe he is a bisexual, seeing how he has had girlfriends in the past, but apparently he also likes playing with guys. I do not envy his wife, for from what I see, he is probably a confused person. He feels lonely, yet he doesn't know what is the cause, or perhaps he doesn't want to acknowledge what he really wants because he knows it is impossible for him to have.

Nevertheless, I wish him and his wife all the happiness, I sincerely hope the marriage and perhaps a family with his own children will help he find what has been alluding him all these time.

As for me, I am wondering what awaits me at the end of the road. At the moment, I am obesessed with finding my Mr. Right. So what happens after I have found my life partner? What will I be looking for then? Does having a life partner means I will live happily ever after? Will I not be sad again over the little things that bug me? Will I still look for even more things to worry about and aim for?

I have a friend who has found his perfect life partner, yet on online messenger he still sound like he's always frustrated with life. So I was just wondering, if having someone who loves you as much as you love him still cannot make you happy with your life, what will?

Will we ever feel contented?