Monday, February 20, 2006

Not angel, not devil

I think I'm kinda ambiguous for a human being (no I don't mean bi :-P). The fact that I can be so understanding, and yet at the same time so 'un-understanding' (am I making sense here?) confounds me.

I can be understanding to the ones I like, but I can also be 'un-understanding' to the ones whom I have no special feelings for, save for friendships.

What is 'un-understanding'? It is when people shows interest in me, and I pretended not to notice, or worse still, avoided contact.

Fact is, one can easily know whether I am interested in pursuing further in a relationship or not, because I will always show my eagerness to be with him, and he will find me stealing eye contacts occasionally..

Often I wonder myself why am I so loveless, when it is apparent that I was the one who chose not to be loved by anyone, save for the one I truly love.

***

The following post is my first attempt at writing a Malay love poem (not even sure whether technically it can be called a poem :-P) sometime back. It does not matter anymore who I wrote it for or whether the person who received it last time understood it, what matters is that I was actually inspired to write one, hehe. So try not to laugh.. :)

I might have used some of the words wrongly, cos I just picked them up when looking into the Malay dictionaries for some nice sounding words with roughly the meanings that I wanted :P

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