On the first day of the Dog lunar year..

Am alone at home.

Woke up with a headache, but don't remember being drunk the night before..

Seem like a typical hot CNY aternoon, glad that I'm in the house, no need to increase further to my dizziness.

While eating my fish porridge brunch, watched a running of the movie 'Sgt. Bilko' on HBO, had me in stitches. I really love the old Steve Martin :-)

Checked my mailboxes (yes, it's a plural), saw a trend of growing junk mails, maybe I should really had been more careful about giving out my e-mail addies heh? :-P

Am wondering whether I should continue with the very romantic/sweet/funny Densha Otoko or wrestling with my PS2 joypad. Both seem to be my only companions on this surprisingly quiet afternoon.

I discovered Densha Otoko through participation in a online forum, the first few episodes are really enjoyable, and is unexpectedly touching, actually had me COL in one episode. Maybe love is really about being touched, emotionally rather than physically, lol.

My view of love is always this mystical and magical feeling, like in a fairy tale. The main protagonist in Densha Otoko has really innocent and mr-nice-guy qualities that I find myself being attracted to and easily sympathized with. He may not have the hunky look, but seeing him fumbling in all kinds of situations have me somewhat rooting for him, maybe it's because we all tend to like to root for the underdogs. And an endearing underdog Densha Otoko is, lol.

Lust has been one of my constant regrets, maybe the day when I'm finally free of it, is the day I find Him.

I'd still like to think that despite all these, somewhere out there, sometime down the road, perhaps I might just find myself in a fairy tale.

Written

Received a written mail today from a very dear friend, made me realised how long it had been since I last actually hand-written a mail.

Simple and primitive as a written letter seems, the pleasure and feeling are so radically different from receiving an electronic equivalent of the mail.

It really gives a much more intimate feeling reading the handwriting of a person rather than the lifeless computer fonts. It's almost as if the hand-writing somehow is able to capture the moment and spirit of the writer, just like how a painting would.

This re-discovered magic of written intimacy triggers me to wanna write more 'real' letters from now on.

Slow as snail mail may be, sometimes it conveys much more than a lightning fast e-mail.

Do I know you?

It's been common lately, that I been bumping into some fellow fridae-ans unintentionally on a certain infamous chatroom.

It's funny in a way, cos although I have not met them in person before, the moment they told me their nick in fridae, I instantly recalled who they were, just based on my previous visits to their profiles.

It's almost like bumping into a familiar friend in the sauna, if you get what I mean.

Sometimes I think I write too much on fridae, to a point where others probably can and will make an impression of me out of my writings here.

Well I'm actually not sure, is it better to know me before you actually meet me, or is it better to know me after you met me?

You tell me :-)

When there's nothing to say..

Been a while since I wrote anything, but it doesn't mean I have been rotting at home lately; I'm still doing the usual clubbing, brooding, blocking people on MSN (yea such evilness I know) and meeting/sms-ing with eager strangers, etc.. :-P

I guess this is just one of my 'neutral' phase, cos I don't feel as much passion, craziness, stupidity or need for any kind of self-destruction as I did few months back.

Without these elements, I end up feeling kinda stunted, becos I don't feel inspired to write anything and my mind is almost constantly in a state of blankness, words take longer to pop into my mind..

Again, 'stunted'.

I hope this has nothing to do with me arriving at 25, which is still pretty young in my terms, lol. I think maybe I'm just kinda numbed by the many emotional torturings I put myself into last year, at which peak period I could produce like two diary entries in a day, haha.

I think those days are gone for now. But you know what, sometimes the past has the knack of coming back to haunt you at the most unexpected times, this is especially true cos it has already happened twice lately.

Well it turns out that I still ended up writing such a long-winded entry even when I said "there's nothing to say..", so please forgive my misleading title :-P

And by the way, shameless promotion it may be, but I sincerely recommend Il Divo's 'Ancora' album to any pop-soprano aficionados >-)

First morning of 2006

Woke up slightly cold,
Exchanged sms with someone,
Who was on my mind throughout NYE,
And that was how cold turned into freeze.

Wanted to break out of my new found despair,
But my mind was frozen.
Wanted to stop the pain,
But like a blade it went straight through my heart.

This is the second time,
I felt like a discarded toy.
One moment I was showered with their attention and admiration,
Moment later I was left out in the cold.

Guess I'm not cut up for these games,
Always taking things seriously when I shouldn't.
But "Why?" I want to ask,
Why did I not feel like a toy when I was with you?